Real Estate Information Archive

Recently, I tackled the realities of estate planning after a divorce, especially where one or both parties have remarried.   It can be tricky to make sure your assets go where you intend them to (see below for previous blog).  Trickier still is what to do DURING THE PROCESS of divorce.

A colleague of mine who is a divorce attorney told me about a case where the husband died before the divorce was concluded.  Because the husband had not considered estate issues, his soon-to-be ex-wife now became his fully legal widow.  She inherited all of his assets.    We can safely assume that this was not his intent.

The process of divorce, even when it is not contested, can take a minimum of six months.   Many people separate prior to divorce which means the period that the marriage is in limbo is actually much longer.  Most people will live long enough to suffer a great deal through their divorce and even after.  But before final judgment of divorce is granted by the court, you are in a legal limbo period in which the spouse you are divorcing could still inherit your estate if you die or have power of attorney to make medical and financial decisions on your behalf if you become incapacitated.

When you are married (and even while separated), you can dispose of your assets in a will or trust pretty much as you wish (keeping in mind certain restrictions regarding community property and spousal election).  However, when you actually file for divorce with the court, there are restrictions placed on how you dispose of your assets (see below for the discussion on “ATRO”).

If you find yourself in the unpleasant position of hiring a divorce attorney, it is most definitely the time to hire a good estate planning attorney as well.  If you were represented by an estate planning attorney when you were together, it may be a conflict for that attorney to represent either or both of you.  Your divorce attorney and estate attorney can work together to protect your assets and interests.

Below I’ve outlined the legal “nitty-gritty” of divorce as it applies to estate planning.  Even just a cursory glance through the discussion should make clear that good legal counsel during this time is essential. Again, be sure you have a good legal team with both an divorce attorney and an estate planning attorney working together to protect you.

What is ATRO and how will it affect you?

Prior to filing for divorce a certain set of rules applies to married couples in California.   A married person can unilaterally control the disposition on death of one half of any community property assets and all of their separate property assets.  However, upon filing the dissolution petition and issuance of a summons, a new legal ball gets rolling called the automatic temporary restraining order (“ATRO”).  The ATRO immediately imposes four different rules:
 

1. First, the ATRO prohibits each spouse from cashing, borrowing against, canceling, transferring, disposing of, or changing the beneficiaries of any insurance or other coverage, including life, health, auto or disability, held for the benefit of the spouses and their children.
   
   
2. Second, the ATRO also restrains each spouse (1) from transferring any property, real or personal (except in the usual course of business or for necessities of life); and (2) from changing the death beneficiaries named on any nonprobate asset (such as retirement plans, annuities and revocable living trusts).  Spousal consent or a court order is needed to accomplish any change.
3. Third, the ATRO, however, still allows each spouse to revoke a revocable living trust, or other nonprobate transfer, and also to sever a joint tenancy, provided that notice of any such change is filed with the court and is served on the other spouse before the change takes effect.  Severing the joint tenancy, and thereby creating a tenancy in common, is important to prevent the other spouse from inheriting the entire joint tenancy asset according to the right of survivorship should one spouse die.
4. Fourth, the ATRO also allows each spouse, without notice or permission, to create, modify or revoke a will; create an unfunded revocable or irrevocable trust; and otherwise modify a nonprobate transfer, such as a trust, in a manner that does not affect the disposition of the property – for example, changing the designated successor trustee of an existing trust.  Thus, either spouse – without the permission of the other spouse or a court order – can create an unfunded living trust that would be funded on death by way of a pour-over will in order to effectuate estate planning changes. (Unfunded means that title to assets have not changed to the trust but assets are just listed in the trust.)  

E.J. Hong, Attorney at Law
LAW OFFICES OF E.J. HONG
2225 E. Bayshore Road, Suite 200
Palo Alto, CA 94303
Tel:  (650) 320-7680
Fax: (650) 320-7675

____________________________________________________________________
Author and Business are endorsed by The Dawn Thomas Team, Inc.
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Even if you are divorced, those words may still be more true than you realize.  Divorce may uncouple you, but in most states, it does not automatically revoke beneficiary designations such as life insurance, retirement designations or joint tenancy.  Upon dissolution of your marriage, your will and trust are revoked.   However, there are assets (named above) which are governed by beneficiary designations and not by your will or trust.  

One of my clients was married to her husband for 25 years.  She was his second wife.  His divorce decree divided up the assets and he believed that he did not need to change his beneficiary designation on a life insurance because the divorce decree stated what was his.  But this was not true.  After her husband’s death, the life insurance company told my client that the beneficiary designation of the first wife controlled.  Because her husband and his first wife had children, when the first wife disclaimed the life insurance proceeds, all of the proceeds went to her children.  In the husband’s will, he had left his life insurance to my client and provided for his children as well.   But his intent, even though it was in a will, did not override the beneficiary designation and my client did not receive any of his life insurance.

Estate planning for blended families is often complex.  And it is a topic you may need to revisit every 5-10 years as your children mature. I am particularly aware of these issues, as I am part of a blended family myself.  And I can attest to the fact that there are many emotional and psychological issues that are part and parcel of blended families.  And without a proper estate plan in place, those emotions can easily boil over when there is a death in the family and financial security is at stake.  Even in families where there appears to be harmony, a death of a patriarch or matriarch can trigger new behavior and reveal repressed emotions.

Simply put, money changes everything.

To provide for the best protection of your spouse and children, it is important to start thoughtful and meticulous planning.  The goal is to nurture your new blended family now and ensure they are taken care of after you’re gone.

An effective estate plan for a blended family should:

1.    Disinherit your ex-spouse to the extent that you wish to do so;
2.    Protect your own children;
3.    Provide for your new spouse;
4.    Reduce conflict as much as possible; and
5.    Minimize estate taxes.

If you don’t actively remove an ex as the named beneficiary or joint owner with right of survivorship, he or she could legally inherit your house, your Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA) plan, your life insurance payout, even your bank account balances.  This could occur even if you specified otherwise in your will and even if the laws of your state automatically extinguish your ex’s interests in the assets of your estate.  This is why I insist on seeing all the beneficiary designations on retirement assets, life insurance, and other accounts.  I have seen too many cases where the beneficiary designations were “wrong,” but nothing could be done about them.

Even more troubling, unless you take the proper legal steps, your former spouse would likely be named by a probate court to manage the inheritance you leave your minor children.

If you haven’t already seen it, rent the recent Meryl Streep/Alec Baldwin movie “It’s Complicated.”   The movie shows that relationships are complicated.  It ought to inspire you to take steps to make sure your estate plan reflects your wishes and your current marital status.  There is no “one size fits all” plan for blended families, but a good estate planning attorney can help you sort through your options and make sure your intentions toward your family are honored.

E.J. Hong, Attorney at Law
LAW OFFICES OF E.J. HONG
2225 E. Bayshore Road, Suite 200
Palo Alto, CA 94303
Tel:  (650) 320-7680
Fax: (650) 320-7675

____________________________________________________________________
Author and Business are endorsed by The Dawn Thomas Team, Inc.
Silicon Valley and Beyond - our website
Silicon Valley Home Search  - find Silicon Valley properties for sale
What’s Your Silicon Valley Home Worth? - get current market information for your Silicon Valley home

Safety Deposit Box

We’ve all watched the scene in a movie where the family goes to the bank to open their dear departed loved one’s safety deposit box.  The will that disinherits the horrible relative or the invaluable ring thought lost forever is inside and we enjoy the happy ending.  And you might find yourself thinking, I should get myself a safety deposit box.

Well, not so fast.  

If movies were like real life, you might find yourself at the bank discovering that your important property has been turned over to the state.  Just recently, one of my clients was an executor for a relative who had two safety deposit boxes at a bank.  First of all, the bank would not allow my client to access the safety deposit boxes before receiving a probate order (called letters testamentary).  When the client went to the bank with the probate order (which took about 6 weeks), the bank said that one of the safety deposit boxes was considered dormant.  Therefore, the bank had sent the contents to the State Controller’s Office.  When she asked the bank why it was considered dormant, she found out that the bank had misspelled her relative’s name and the bank’s bills were returned to sender.  The social security number on the two boxes was the same, but no one had a personal relationship with the relative to put the two together. The contents were confirmed by the State Controller’s Office but it can take up to six months for my client to receive the contents of the safety deposit box.

So once you have gone to the trouble of getting your estate planning documents prepared by an attorney, what should you do with the original documents?  Most attorneys do not keep originals of your documents, so it’s important that you place them in safekeeping so that the people who need to access them will be able to access them when the time comes.
 
If you’re going to keep your original estate planning documents at a bank’s safety deposit box, be prepared to visit the bank at least once a year to keep the account active.  If bank notices have stopped coming, you should contact the institution to let them know you want to keep the account active.  It’s also a good idea to keep pictures or an inventory of what you store in the boxes.
 
 In addition to maintaining an active account, I suggest that you ask the bank what is the procedure for an executor or trustee  to access your safe deposit box.   Sometimes, banks will allow successor trustees to access the box if the box is in the name of your trust. Sometimes, it’s better to name your successor trustee or executor as a joint tenant so that they can access the safety deposit box right away.   Or the bank may allow access but only if you have signed the bank’s power of attorney.  So, make sure to ask the bank for its process and make sure that you plan ahead.

Having a relationship with a personal banker or a healthy local community bank like Borel Private Bank and Trust Company www.borel.com is also a good idea.  Some banks have a minimum of $100,000 or more before you qualify for a personal banker.  Borel has a minimum for free checking but no minimum for personal banking.  With such relationships with a banker, you are less likely to get lost in the shuffle and you will enjoy the benefits of banking on a personal basis rather than in mass-market retail banking.  
 
Safe at Home

In most communities, home fires and flooding are no longer all that common.  So an alternative for keeping originals is to have a safe at your home.   This can simply be a fire proof box kept on a high shelf, or a more elaborate fireproof and waterproof safe that is bolted to the floor.  Depending upon your needs, this can be an economical alternative to a safety deposit box, and also a much more readily accessible way to keep your documents safe. Regardless of what you choose, do keep a copy of the documents in another part of the house.  And make sure that your attorney has at least an electronic copy of your documents.  You’ll want to inform your spouse or executor of this information as well, so they can access your documents quickly should you become incapacitated or die unexpectedly.

There are other options for safeguarding your documents or other valuables.  A quick internet search can turn up some helpful and in some cases, quite ELABORATE alternatives (think PVC pipe and a big cement pour over the top!) to the safety deposit box.   Only you can determine what is best for you, but for estate planning documents, your goal should be to make them as easily accessible as possible.

I would not suggest handing out multiple copies of your estate planning documents to your successor trustees or executors.  Your documents are usually revocable, which means that you can and probably will make changes over the years.  So, it’s a good idea just to let your successor trustees know where to find the documents in case of emergency.

E.J. Hong, Attorney at Law
LAW OFFICES OF E.J. HONG
2225 E. Bayshore Road, Suite 200
Palo Alto, CA 94303
Tel:  (650) 320-7680
Fax: (650) 320-7675

____________________________________________________________________
Author and Business are endorsed by The Dawn Thomas Team, Inc.
Silicon Valley and Beyond - our website
Silicon Valley Home Search  - find Silicon Valley properties for sale
What’s Your Silicon Valley Home Worth? - get current market information for your Silicon Valley home

We’ve all experienced it.  Our computer crashes and we lose access to our “electronic” life.  Usually we are inconvenienced for a few hours or perhaps days.  Sometimes we have to rebuild all our personal information.  Of course, we know what we have stored, our passwords and accounts.  Most of us emerge on the other side of the experience with a firm resolve to “back-up” our data religiously.  And then we move on.  Few consider the opposite scenario.  What if you “crash?”  Who will back-up YOU after you’ve gone?  How will your family access online accounts?   Will they even know they exist?   As we continue to live more and more digitally, the consequences of not backing up the “human factor” are very real.

For example, when a client’s father died, she had to pay a computer expert to access the computer.  All of his bank accounts, business information, e-mails, and contact lists were password protected.    She did not even know certain assets existed and was surprised with bills that remained unpaid after her father died. She had a difficult time knowing whose invoices were outstanding, which resulted in the company not being able to collect on some invoices for quite  some time.  A great deal of time and money were spent trying to unravel her father’s financial life online.   When she needed to be grieving her father, she was forced to become a forensic specialist in the digital world.  She knew this would not have been her father’s intent.

Technology has allowed us to be more efficient and computers and on-line accounts are often indispensable business and personal tools.  But what happens to our digital identity when we die? Your family could be locked out of sentimentally valuable information as well as monetary information.  On the other hand, there may be some information online that you would prefer to remain private that could be exposed inadvertently during a search for assets or financial information.

Currently, some companies have policies in place to assist heirs:  Yahoo will agree to shut down an account if relatives submit a copy of a death certificate. Google will allow relatives to reset the password of the deceased person's account after they meet the company's requirements, such as a death certificate. Microsoft will turn over the contents of a Hotmail account on CDs.

But without the passwords, retrieving a deceased person's account information can be a costly and time-consuming process.

There several online services that already cater to users interested in digital life after death, like MyLastEmail.com, BCelebrated.com, Legacy Locker, or My WebWill, or DevotedDaughter.com (coming soon).

For my clients, I provide a USB stick that has a document called “Passwords.” It is meant to allow my clients to store accounts and passwords so that family and heirs will have easy access to digital information.  Also, for sensitive digital information, my clients can designate someone who can access the information and act according to the client's instructions.

If you live digitally, you must prepare for the digital afterlife.  When you make your estate plan, be sure you create a plan for your digital assets just as you would for your tangible assets.  You can have virtual AND real peace of mind.

E.J. Hong, Attorney at Law
LAW OFFICES OF E.J. HONG
2225 E. Bayshore Road, Suite 200
Palo Alto, CA 94303
Tel:  (650) 320-7680
Fax: (650) 320-7675

____________________________________________________________________
Author and Business are endorsed by The Dawn Thomas Team, Inc.
Silicon Valley and Beyond - our website
Silicon Valley Home Search  - find Silicon Valley properties for sale
What’s Your Silicon Valley Home Worth? - get current market information for your Silicon Valley home

It’s important to arrange for someone to care for your pet(s) and to specify that in your estate plan.  Sadly, a significant number of domestic pets are unwittingly condemned to death or abandonment because their owners did not know—and were not well advised—to make arrangements for them.

You can set aside money to offset the care/feeding of your pet.  You can also specify that your pet will require care if you are moving to a retirement community that does not allow for pets.     You need to specify the person to care for your pets just as you would specify guardianship for a child.  Don’t assume that friends, children or family will automatically come forward.

A friend of mine inherited her mother’s tortoises when she died.  Tortoises can live upwards of 150 years.  These animals may well need a plan B and Plan C given their unusually long lifespans.  There is no guarantee that my friend’s daughter will want to take over the care of the tortoises in the future.

Another friend’s parents recently informed her  that they have new “parents” for their beloved Havanese, Lily, should anything happen to them.  My friend was relieved to hear it.  Her parents are in their 70s and their dog is only 2 years old with a potential 14-16 year life span.  My friend was concerned about what might happen to the furry “grandchild” in the event that her parents couldn’t care for her or moved to a retirement community that did not allow pets.  My friend was reluctant to bring it up,  so it was a great relief for her to find out that her parents had already considered their options and specified a new “forever” home for Lily.

Your local Humane Society may have a program designed to care for pets to make sure they are adopted and not euthanized.  This is a terrific option for people who do not have someone who can take on their pets.  The shelter will care for your pet until a new home can be found.  The Humane Society of Silicon Valley (HSSV) has such a program locally.  The North Shore Animal League located in New York also has a program and will take your pet regardless of where you live.  These sorts of programs can require donations or fees for animal transport, so do your research and make sure you have a plan for your four-legged or winged friend.

You can put your wishes in your will, trust, or even prepare a pet trust (make sure that you specify pet care also in your power of attorney for property).  It does not have to be anything elaborate, but you should have a plan for your pets so that they will have someone to care for them when and if you are no longer able to do so.

E.J. Hong, Attorney at Law
LAW OFFICES OF E.J. HONG
2225 E. Bayshore Road, Suite 200
Palo Alto, CA 94303
Tel:  (650) 320-7680
Fax: (650) 320-7675

____________________________________________________________________
Author and Business are endorsed by The Dawn Thomas Team, Inc.
Silicon Valley and Beyond - our website
Silicon Valley Home Search  - find Silicon Valley properties for sale
What’s Your Silicon Valley Home Worth? - get current market information for your Silicon Valley home

*This blog contains general information and is not meant to apply to a specific situation.  Please seek advice of counsel before proceeding as each case is unique.

Now that most of us have trusts (or have been thinking about getting one…sometimes for several years!) we need to know how often to review the documents.  There are those (you know why you are!) who sign the trust, pack it away, and never, ever look at it again.  

First, it is a good idea to go over the trust and the Will after the initial flush of accomplishment has faded.  Really look at the trust to be sure you understand what it does.  Is it a revocable living trust for a couple?  Does it split into sub trusts at the first death?  Is the split mandatory or discretionary?  Who are the successor trustees?  You will need the answers to these questions in order to understand when to review the trust at a later date.  Those pesky warnings in the newspaper may mean more, also.

For example, you might be hearing that the Federal Estate Tax is no longer in existence.  This means that the estate of all those who die in 2010 will not have to pay the Estate Tax.  But wait.  Did you know that it returns next year?  That’s right, the current law provides that any decedent’s estate worth more than $1,000,000 next year will pay tax at a rate of forty-five percent on the amount over $1,000,000.  This information means more in the context of your own estate plan.  If a couple’s estate is worth $1,500,000 and one dies next, but has a living trust that splits at the first death, you may be covered and pay no estate tax at the second death.  

Second, it is a good idea to review the trust each year.  Do you still have faith in the named successor trustees?  Has your daughter matured enough so that she can receive her inheritance at age thirty, instead of, sixty?  Has your son joined a cult leaving his wife and ten children?  You may want to amend the trust and give his share of the estate in trust for the support of the children.

Third, be sure to update the list of trust assets anytime an asset is sold or acquired.

Brown Law Offices

Diane M. Brown, Attorney at Law (specializing in trusts and estates)
14130 Winchester Blvd., Suite G
Los Gatos, CA  95032
Voice: 408-376-2755
Fax: 408-376-2763

____________________________________________________________________
Author and Business are endorsed by The Dawn Thomas Team, Inc.
Silicon Valley and Beyond - our website
Silicon Valley Home Search  - find Silicon Valley properties for sale
What’s Your Silicon Valley Home Worth? - get current market information for your Silicon Valley home

When you are interviewing estate planning attorneys, you might want to ask these questions:

• How responsive are you to your clients? What is your response time?
  
• Are you a licensed attorney? Are you a general practice lawyer or specialized?
  
• Are your fees flat fees, agreed to in advance? If not, how is the billing done?
  
• Are you available to help my family when I am incapacitated or gone?
  
•  Do you make sure my assets are titled in the right way?
  
•  What happens when things change in my life? What if I want to make changes to my plan later?
  
• Do you prepare a comprehensive plan for my kids’ care if something happens to me, one that names short-term and long-term guardians?
  
• Can you structure my estate plan so that whatever I leave to my kids will be protected from a lawsuit or divorce in their futures?
  
• Will you take the time to explain estate planning and to answer my questions at no additional charge?
  
• Can you give me recommendations or testimonials from other clients?
  
•  Do you do trust administration, i.e., do you handle the legal aspects of administering the trust after a death occurs?
  

At the end of this process, think about whether you felt like you could trust this person and if you felt like he/she cared about you. Although you can always change lawyers (like you can with doctors), you should feel comfortable with your lawyer throughout the entire process. One of my clients told me that she’s never felt so close to an attorney and that I had become a family friend.

E.J. Hong, Attorney at Law
LAW OFFICES OF E.J. HONG
2225 E. Bayshore Road, Suite 200
Palo Alto, CA 94303
Tel:  (650) 320-7680
Fax: (650) 320-7675

____________________________________________________________________
Author and Business are endorsed by The Dawn Thomas Team, Inc.
Silicon Valley and Beyond - our website
Silicon Valley Home Search  - find Silicon Valley properties for sale
What’s Your Silicon Valley Home Worth? - get current market information for your Silicon Valley home

*This blog contains general information and is not meant to apply to a specific situation.  Please seek advice of counsel before proceeding as each case is unique.

When I give seminars a common question is “When should I do a trust or a will?”  That question really means “What happens if I do not plan?”  The California Probate Code fills any vacuum left by someone who is either incapacitated or deceased.  In other words, if you do not write your estate plan, then the state does!   The following is the first portion of an example of such a case:   

~~~~~~~~~~   Last Will and Testament   ~~~~~~~~~~

Being of sound mind and memory, I do hereby publish this as my last will and testament:

FIRST, although my widow will need all of the financial help she can get, I give her only one-third of my possessions; I give my minor children the remaining two-thirds.

SECOND, I appoint my widow as guardian of our children.  But as a safeguard – despite my utmost confidence in her judgment, I require that she apply to the probate court for letters of Guardianship and then report to the probate court biennially year to render an accounting of how, why and where she spent the money for proper care of her children.

(A)    I require my widow to explain to the Court why she should be able to spend the children’s money for their care since she has a duty under the law to support them;

(B)    As a further safeguard I direct her to spend the necessary time and money to obtain a Performance Bond to guarantee to the Probate Court that she will exercise proper judgment in handling, investing and spending the children’s money.

(C)    As a final safeguard – despite my desire to free my widow from undue burdens and potential harassments – when our children become of legal age, I give them the right to demand an accounting and to second-guess her decisions.

(D)    Although my children are not mature and do not appear to have any idea of how to manage money, I direct my widow to give them all of their inheritance at the age of eighteen.     (to be continued)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

This is the first portion of a will that the state would draft for a man who has separate property from an inheritance and two children with his wife. Separate property and community property are treated differently under California law.  I will post the remainder of the will on my next blog.

Brown Law Offices

Diane M. Brown, Attorney at Law (specializing in trusts and estates)
14130 Winchester Blvd., Suite G
Los Gatos, CA  95032
Voice: 408-376-2755
Fax: 408-376-2763

____________________________________________________________________
Author and Business are endorsed by The Dawn Thomas Team, Inc.
Silicon Valley and Beyond - our website
Silicon Valley Home Search  - find Silicon Valley properties for sale
What’s Your Silicon Valley Home Worth? - get current market information for your Silicon Valley home

I hear it so often: "I know I should do an estate plan, but I just can't bear to think about what would happen to my children if I died. There are no good options. It's just too difficult."

With two children of my own, I understand how scary it is to contemplate. By the same token, without a plan in place, you could have a situation where no one can decide who will care for your children, or where everyone wants to be guardian.

In the absence of any written wishes, the matter falls into the hands of a probate judge. Imagine someone who has legal authority, yet no knowledge of you, your family or your children. In essence, a stranger is making the most important decision without your input.

As parents, our job is to advocate for our children. And through an estate plan, you can continue that important job, even if the "worst" should occur.

With that said, many of my clients in the process of estate planning still have trouble designating a guardian. No option seems "right." This is what I share with them. First, the odds are very much in your favor that you will live to see your children into adulthood. In essence, designating guardianship is like having fire insurance: you aren't likely to use it, but having it brings tremendous piece of mind. (And keep in mind that you can't get fire insurance after a fire occurs. You need the insurance beforehand.)

Second, guardianships don't have to be forever. In fact, they are relatively easy to change. I have a client who chose a family member on the East Coast when her children were little and comparatively easy to relocate. Now that her children are teens and have strong ties to their schools and friends, she and her husband have designated a guardian closer to home. Accordingly, when asking someone if they will act as a guardian, you can mention up front that this is something you plan to revisit over time. People who care about you and your children will understand that planning for younger children has different considerations than planning for teens.

I also tell my clients that, when nominating guardians, there is a guardian of the estate and guardian of the person. A guardian of the estate is someone who manages the assets for the child (a trustee of the child's trust plays the same role). A guardian of the person is the person who will physically take care of the children. These two roles can be performed by the same person or two different people. The guardian of the person may be very loving and caring, but not very good with money, and vice-versa. Or you could name the same person to perform both roles. It depends on the person and your goals.

Additionally, if your guardians are out of state or live very far away, you should name temporary guardians to watch your children until the permanent guardians can arrive. This is a very important step that parents overlook sometimes.

Ultimately, even with a designated guardian, the decision as to the right guardian is for the probate judge to decide. Rest assured, the judge is not likely to disagree with your nomination unless the nominee can be proven to be an unfit guardian. Keep in mind, if you are divorced, the judge will choose the surviving biological parent unless there is compelling evidence otherwise. If there is such compelling evidence, it's important for you to document - perhaps in a confidential document - the reason you nominated someone else.

Without a doubt, choosing a guardian can be one of the most difficult decisions a parent can make. Contemplating the "worst" can bring on overwhelming emotions that are paralyzing. We all want the best for our children and no scenario seems perfect. But remember, a less than perfect decision is so much better than no decision at all.

E.J. Hong, Attorney at Law
LAW OFFICES OF E.J. HONG
2225 E. Bayshore Road, Suite 200
Palo Alto, CA 94303
Tel:  (650) 320-7680
Fax: (650) 320-7675

____________________________________________________________________
Author and Business are endorsed by The Dawn Thomas Team, Inc.
Silicon Valley and Beyond - our website
Silicon Valley Home Search  - find Silicon Valley properties for sale
What’s Your Silicon Valley Home Worth? - get current market information for your Silicon Valley home

We think that leaving a legacy is only for the wealthy or the old.  We think that it’s about leaving a whole bunch of money behind.  But it’s about much more than that.  Leaving a legacy is also about leaving your values and character – your emotional assets - with the future generation.  Your footprints have made a difference in this world and you will leave a big hole when you are gone.  Even though my mother did not have an estate plan, what I hold dearest in my heart is my mother’s notes that she wrote to me because it is proof that she loved me.  She continues to live through me – this is her legacy. Whether you are old, young, rich or poor, you have a legacy.  It does not matter whether you are married or have children.  You have made a difference in your life and it is important that you continue your legacy after you pass away.
 
A recent occurrence brought this home to me.  My friend’s mother-in-law recently passed away.   Her passing was not unexpected, as she was 85 and had been ill for the last year and half. Still, her death left a big hole in the family and has triggered a new wave of sadness and grieving.  We may think we are prepared, but the emotional realities of death often catch us off guard.
 
However, my friend’s mother-in-law had been kind enough to give a great deal of thought to this stage of her life.  She had moved into a senior community and begun the paring down process years earlier – giving away things she no longer could use to each of her five children.  Her estate was in order with an up-to-date will.  When her husband was still alive they had purchased a mausoleum crypt, so burial plans were easily put in place.  Most significantly, she had gone to the trouble to list the hymns and scriptures she wanted included in her funeral service.  Far from being morbid, the family took great comfort in knowing they were singing her favorite hymns as they paid tribute to her.  And finally, she had directed her estate to pay for a family dinner after the services, where all the siblings, their spouses, grandchildren and other family members could gather and share their memories.
 
Her kids did not have the worry of wondering what she would have wanted. They followed her wishes and they are at peace knowing that they honored her.   She left a legacy for them.  She left property to them, but more importantly, a legacy of love, values, character and strength.
 
It’s difficult to think about dying, but think about how hard it is for the living after you pass away.  Think of estate planning as leaving a legacy that you leave with your loved ones.  Your life is important to whom you leave behind – your family, your friends, your pets, your charities.

E.J. Hong, Attorney at Law
LAW OFFICES OF E.J. HONG
2225 E. Bayshore Road, Suite 200
Palo Alto, CA 94303
Tel:  (650) 320-7680Fax: (650) 320-7675

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